Some people, including my bff, may wonder why I like running so much. Well, here is where I shock you...I don't. I actually dread running. The thought of plodding painfully down a road somewhere when I could be doing a zillion other enjoyable things is vomitus to me. When my alarm wakes me at the horrendous hour of 4am there is nothing I would like more than to turn it off and sleep an extra hour or so. And yet I run. At this point you are probably wondering, "Laura, if you hate it so much...why do you keep on doing it?" The complex answer is....I also love it...and the love outweighs my dislike. Why do I love it?
There is this irrigation canal near my work. It runs for miles through the city, behind neighborhoods and through alfalfa and corn fields. On either side of its banks are dirt trails made smooth by utility vehicles and farm machinery. The canal itself is alive with beautiful Koi fish, ducks and sparrows. When I am good, when I wake early enough to take the time...this is where I run. When I hit the trail it is around 5:30 or so but it is still dark at this time of year. The glassy surface of the water reflects the ambient light of the city bouncing off of low laying clouds. I am surrounded by water and acres upon acres of life springing from the ground in one form or another...the earth is quiet...still slowly rising from the nights slumber.
At first as I start out the air feels bitter cold and I have to hide my hands in my sleeves to keep my fingers warm. My lungs send sharp pangs inside me as the cold air is drawn deeply into them. The muscles in my legs suddenly feel as though I have inflated them with lead and after a few hundred feet they are not wanting to continue. About a half of a mile in it seems as though every cell in my body is screaming at me to just stop and walk. "It's not like you're moving much faster than a walk anyway.", they scream in sarcastic unison. This is when it happens, this is my moment of decision. If I slow to a walk it is all over....I am defeated. But If I continue...if I move forward with a prayer on my lips...Then my favorite part of the day has begun.
My lungs hurt, my joints are stiff, I am cold, my muscles are heavy and I want to walk back to the car. Until I say these quiet words in my heart, "Lord please bless me to keep going. Help me to focus on you and what is most important." My focus shifts as I begin to pray about the day before me. What should I say, where should I go, who can I be a friend to? Then the prayers shift again and I'm thinking of my loved ones, considering their needs and wants as well as how I can be there for them. I am contemplating my life now, my very heart and the decisions that are ahead of me when I realize I'm not tired anymore. In fact, I am moving faster and have gone farther than I expected to. My breath is steady and regular and my muscles feel warm and relaxed. Every inch of my being is moving forward with my thoughts and prayers.
That is where I meet him then...my Savior. Out there in the darkness on that silent trail. I reflect on Him and His blessed presence in my life. Thank Him fore His gifts poured out on me with such love. I look up to the mountains and see the sky starting to fill with daylight. I see the birds glide across the still waters and smell the sweet odor of crops growing in the field. I am awake and alive, I am in the presence of my Heavenly Father and He is giving me the strength to keep moving when I would fail on my own.
It is here that I am reminded of His strength to carry me. His ability to see far beyond my mortal eyes into the depths of eternity. In this land where I see next to nothing, He speaks to my heart and shows me that He sees it all and has a plan. I cannot doubt, I cannot fear, I must ignore what 'reason' would say is true. Because while I am only a being made to reason, He is a God of wonders.
As I near the end of my run I am filled with peace and joy. I have had my morning meeting and discussed the issues facing me. I have solicited His care and protection over myself and my loved ones. I have been reminded that my limitations are not His own, and with Him I can accomplish anything He deems necessary and right and true. I never walk (or run) alone.
This is what I hope and pray for you. Find that one thing....the something that you think you cannot accomplish, or perhaps you are afraid you will fail. Maybe it's a physical thing, but maybe it is not. Maybe it is a task you feel is beyond your skills or an emotional weight that seems too heavy to lift, whatever it is your heart knows it. Right now, if you are being honest, you know what it is. Take in a deep painful breath and start moving your lead ridden feet forward. Whisper a prayer to your Heavenly Father to keep you moving in the right direction. I promise you this, if you step out and move forward, if you are willing to push through the reason in your head that tells you to give it up and walk away, you will not be running your race alone. You will not be without strength to get you where you are needing to go. He is waiting to meet with you....you just have to be willing to dedicate the time and put in the energy and most of all....trust that He will not let you fail.
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