An Unexpected and Long Awaited Day

If faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen then what is the thing you gave up hope of and saw as impossible?  A seed germinated by the warmth of sunlight, that seed buried so deeply inside your hard cold earth you imagined it had withered into the dust it was born from.  Somehow fantastically, no miraculously, sprung to life.  Pushing upward breaking layers you thought impenetrable in its courageous ascent to the surface of your heart, and at the same time plunging thick veins rooting themselves in the core of your very being until you cannot remember why you ever thought the dream dead.  It can not be faith as your hope was dormant, or is it a fulfillment of a promise?  A faith once forgotten and now renewed because you allowed light and joy, that cleansing waterfall, to pour over your soul without shielding yourself from it's rushing tempest?  Yes faith, that is it.  This is a story of substance hoped for being found, of seeing what was so long unseen.

Last May, just over one year ago.  I sat in the audience of my friend Laura's graduation from ASU.  The day was warm, but beautiful and I was bursting with pride and happiness for her.  She had worked so hard and was already focused on her next degree.  She is a glorious specimen of steadiness and determination.  She spies her goal and will not stop pushing forward until she has attained it.  Something I felt greatly lacking in while watching her cross that stage.

I was three classes away from my bachelor's degree when I moved to Arizona in 2005.  My original thought was to finish the classes through ASU and be done with my degree....but life happened and distracted me.  After several months of adjusting to nights/weekends shift work I became unsettled in my position at work and chose to become a police officer.  Four and a half, of the hardest and most awesome training I have ever been through, later I graduated and began my career.  Then I had training to complete, then adjusting to police work dominated my life, then I became a trainer....somehow there was never the right time to sign up for the classes I needed.  Finally, about four years after moving to Arizona, I determined to do what was needed and get my classes done....but ASU requires a long and rather tedious process before accepting out of state credit hours.  I felt I had hit a wall and determined within myself that I had a solid job I enjoyed and was good at, why did I need that degree anyway?  Move on Laura! So I did, I thought, I let that dream die away and focused on doing my job to the best of my ability.

That spring day last year I felt the dearth my decision had left me with,  I felt it inside the core of my being.  What could I possibly do about it now I thought.  It's too late, you should let it go.  But I felt a still small voice saying, "Why don't you call your old school. Maybe they have classes online you can take?"  I pushed the thought away as ridiculous, but it danced around in the corners of my mind a strange moth-like creature refusing to be ignored.  Finally, I gave in.  On a hot summer morning after my daily prayers when the thought was so persistent it became a palpable being sitting next to me and invading every moment with its incessant what if's I defiantly looked up the number to my old school.  What followed was a series of calls and what appeared to be innumerable dead ends.  I knelt on the hot stone of a quiet patio and prayed. "Lord, if this thought is from you.  If somehow you have a plan that I will need this degree for.  If it will bring glory to your name, please help me talk with the right person.  Please help it be possible for me to finish the degree even if it takes some time and money, just point me in the right direction and make it possible."

I dialed one more number in my endless list and hit a possible lead.  The girl on the other end of the line did not have the answer I needed, however she did have a phone number for the director of the Modern Languages department (my degree program was in Spanish).  If, she told me doubtfully, there was anyone who could help me it would be him.  I whispered one more prayer and dialed the number....it went to voicemail.  After leaving what I am sure was a rambling and semi incoherent message I felt at peace for the first time since that pesky thought had pushed it's way into the recesses of my mind.  I had done my best and did not expect great results, but maybe something good would come of it.  Several hours later I got a call back from the director.  I explained to him my situation and what I was hoping to accomplish.  He did not sound hopeful as he promised to look up my case and get back to me when he could.  I decided the entire thing was probably said and done with and settled within my mind to patiently wait for the response I was sure would be a solid no.

That next morning during prayers I recited my prayer from the previous day.  I had asked two close friends to also pray that the Lord's will would be done and I would be okay with whatever He decided.  As I finished my prayers and started my day the telephone rang.  It was the director calling, "Laura I have some good news." his voice boomed with joy over the receiver, "I have looked over your case and am happy to tell you that you are eligible for graduation."  My mind went numb....surely I did not just hear him say the words he said. "I'm sorry, what did you say.", I asked incredulously.  He laughed and gleefully responded, "We just changed our degree requirements and no longer require a major/minor focus but only credit hours.  You have more than enough credit hours to graduate.  You could graduate in August if you got all the requirements done."  It was all I could do not to scream into the phone with joy.  I leapt around the house needing somehow to express the thrill that coursed through my body crashing against my consciousness in devastating waves of happiness. "I don't understand, I'm done.  How is that possible?", the good doctor calmly assured me that it was indeed very real and possible, while I would have a final test to take and would have to complete one class online to renew my catalog year I was as done as the rains in the Sahara.  Then he said the words that humbled me to my core, "If you had called even a week ago there would not have been much I could have done for you.  You called at just the perfect time when we had voted on the new program and it has just officially been approved."

All at once the realization of just how the Lord had orchestrated everything hit me and knocked the wind out of my sails.  It was all I could do to keep myself together and get off the phone so that I could collapse on my knees in thank you's.  How perfect is the Lord and His never ending goodness to me?  He knew, how long ago did He know and plan just the perfect moment to wake in me the desire to complete my degree?  Even now in writing this I am overcome at His awesome power and his grace to me.  I cried for I do not know how long, thanking Him for not forgetting me, for upholding His promises even when I had forgotten them.  For renewing a right heart in me that I would be ready to receive His wondrous and abundant gifts.  All I could think was....filled to overflowing, my joy is filled to overflowing.

On May 5th of this year, one year later.  I graduated from the University of Central Missouri.  It's not an amazing feat of any gift or talent that I have.  It is all wholly and purely a gift and plan from the Lord.  I can take no credit, for it all came from His hand to me.  I am in awe and I am in expectation, waiting to see what He would have me do with this great blessing.  For where He leads me I will follow....amen.