On Leading

On various occasions over the years have been told that there is something special about me, that I am born to be a leader or have some great destiny set before me.  I would like to go on record for a moment to say that there is no good in me.  There is only one good and that is God, if there is anything good in things I have done or said in my life it is only a gift of His grace to me because I have plenty of failings to speak of.  And by the way, it is terrifying to be told you are meant for greatness.  I look at my life and I see nothing particularly great that has been achieved, then I think I must be failing or there must yet me some insurmountable task before me that in all honesty I do not want to face.

I recently had this conversation with a friend of mine, we will name him Sven because I like Scandinavian names, and discussed with him the dread I feel inside when over the years I have heard such comments made.  I said if being a leader meant I could just go about my life living and loving people as I have thus far then I was fine with that, but if it implied some great task set before me I wanted no part of that leadership, it was too scary, too much.  He then asked, "Well, what if you are a leader just by being you and nothing else?"  Well, that would be okay with me, and after that the conversation went another way.  But as someone who is constantly thinking (a very dangerous trait at times) I continued to mull over the conversation in my mind.  What is it to be a leader?  Well, very simply this is what I have come to.

Many years ago a member of my church was given a vision.  I cannot relate it to you word for word as I do not have it in front of me and I apologize for any mistakes in my memory, but I will share with you what of it made a lasting impression on my young mind.  He saw a frozen wasteland and across it were scattered believers.  We were all struggling towards some sort of safety (i don't recall what) and were forced to walk through a menacing gale that threatened to blow us off course and into oblivion.  Many people came from different directions and converged on the same course, some carrying nothing and some bogged down with the weight of their belongings.  As the gale blew harder some lost hold and were blown away, some began to let go of their bags to lighten their load and ensure their safe passage, but others held on tighter refusing to let go.  There were a few who had stakes with them and they began to drive them deep into the frozen ground as anchors.  Those people surrounding them began to hold on to them to keep themselves from being swept away by the brutal winds.  When the person awoke he felt upset that those who refused to loose themselves from their baggage would use take the strength of others as their anchor, but he was given the following understanding:

The group of believers were all those whose hearts were seeking Christ and the winds were the temptations and trials of Satan blowing them off the goal of salvation.  The baggage that some carried were the hopes, belongings and joys of this life.  Some would be willing to let go of them and others would allow this life to weigh them down.  The ground that the stakes were driven into was the foundation of the word of God which held them fast to their goal.  Some would not have the strength on their own to drive fast into the word and be an anchor for others.  Some needed the strength of those around them to hold true to their course.  The responsibility of those gifted to drive anchors into the foundation, was to be a strength to those around them.  To be a strength in the midst of the storm.

I heard that vision related when I was a young teenager, and it remains an impressive and moving image in my mind to this day.  From that moment until now I have prayed that God might bless me to be that anchor for someone when my time comes.  To hold fast so strong and true to His word that I might bring some relief to a soul weary from their journey, to give them a moment of rest.

After my conversation with Sven I mused over what was said, my memory of this vision and my hopes and prayers associated with it.  If that is what it is to someday be a leader, if it means to drive my strength and trust and hope deep into the solid foundation of the word of God; to follow that word to the end of my days, then I am okay with that.  It doesn't fill me with the same dread or fear as it did before.  If leading just means following my Lord and Savior over all else, well that would be just fine with me. In that case...lead on Lord.