Special
adjective
1.) Distinguished by some unusual quality; especially: being in some way superior.
2.) Held in particular esteem.
3.) Readily distinguishable from others of the same category.
4.) Being other than the usual.
5.) Designed for a particular purpose or occasion.
Have you ever been told you are special? Perhaps you were in elementary school and a teacher pulled you aside to whisper in your ear, "you are so special". Maybe a family member who loved you more than their own life would cuddle you and tell you how special you were. Maybe you were the kid who used it as an insult to others, "ooohhh...you're special!!". Whatever the circumstance it's pretty safe to assume in our day and age that at some point in your growing years you were reassured about how very special you were. In fact, it has become such an ingrained term in our society that it almost feels abusive NOT to reassure a child of their specialness. Well, if you fit into that line of thinking, you should sit down or perhaps stop reading at this point in my post. I'm about to contradict everything you have been raised to believe. I'm about to tell you just why I believe you are in fact, not special. Your mind might be reeling and unable to focus as I have just knocked you off your pedestal, so let me repeat that for you.
You are NOT special.
You were not born innately better than anyone on this planet. You have no skills that put you above the fray. People have been born who have possessed greater intelligence than you before and people more talented than you will be born in the future. In fact, if you had never been born this world would have gone right along never skipping a beat. These are harsh facts that may never have been mentioned to you before, so I totally understand if you are preparing quality stones for an old fashioned pummeling headed my way. Right now you may be thinking, "who is she to tell me I'm not special? I know I'm special. If you don't believe anyone is special then what is our purpose, why would anyone even bother? If someone thinks they aren't special they won't see their life as meaningful, you are encouraging people to not see themselves as important!" But before you unleash a tsunami of insults my way let me do my best to explain my point of view and why I refuse to believe the lie of the phrase 'you are special'.
Before I get into the meat of this let me do my best to reassure you on one point. While I do not believe anyone (including myself) is 'special' in any way I Do believe the following: Each life is a miracle created by God on high, You are fearfully and wonderfully made, There is great purpose and meaning in your life, You are beloved by your creator and You have a Father in heaven who is always calling out to you and seeking for you to return His love for you.
Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion on this, I stand firm in what I believe. The phrase 'you are special' is very different than those I listed in the previous paragraph. While the phrases in the previous paragraph carry a great depth of value inherent in your existence, that value hinges on the gifts and existence of God and how He has made you with value and love. The phrase 'you are special' implies that you of yourself are somehow distinguished from others, superior to others, held in esteem by and above others and greater than the usual. The simple fact is...you are none of those things. All of your value all of your great worth as a living soul stems from the existence of the God who made your life possible. It is not about you, it's all Him.
So why does this matter? Why am I splitting hairs over the phrases we use to instill in our children (and in ourselves) the comprehension of our great worth? Simply put, I believe this is a hair that has caused an inflated sense of self in ourselves and in our society and will only cause more damage if left unsplit. Consider for a moment the attitude of our culture as a whole. How many times have you heard the phrases: "I deserve this", "You deserve....", "Take me or leave me mistakes and all", "Break the rules", "Above the rules", "Rules are made to be broken", "Don't judge me", "It's my life and I should be able to live it how I choose", "My body, my choice", "Don't tread on me", "It's my right..." (do you really need more examples?) in the last five years? Year? Month? Week? These phrases have become a common theme in our society and all of them stem from the same root. The idea that I want what I want when I want it and I should get it if I want it because...I AM SPECIAL.
Humans are by nature narcissistic. We are born believing the world revolves around us and should be at our beck and call. And as a baby/young child survival requires someone willing to make us the center of the universe, which only strengthens our belief that this is how the world should work. Consider how confusing the world must be for a child who is growing into adolescence. Thus far in their existence they have been verbally and non verbally reassured that they are in fact special and deserving of being the center of the universe, then all at once they begin to be told that the world does not revolve around their wants and needs. On top of that shocking change in their environment they are bombarded by messages from other adults in their life as well as popular culture that tell them they 'deserve' certain things and should be able to 'make their own way' and 'find their purpose in life'. Is it so shocking that they choose to ignore the minor chatter of people telling them they are not the center of their own universe? Is it at all shocking that as adults we often believe the same?
I will openly admit that I often find myself buying into this lie of specialness. It's a lovely little lie, comforting even. It means that exceptions can be made for what I want without having to feel any guilt over how much my desires may vary from what is true or right. It's okay this time, because I am special. It's okay to make these mistakes because I am finding my purpose in life. I am making my way in the world and finding my own peace, my own center and through that process I am becoming who I need to be to make the world a better place. Is anyone else sick of all the I's in this paragraph? Wake up Laura, you are making everything about YOU!!! It's not about me, never was and never will be. It's not about you either, never was and never will be. It's all about God and if we ever see the world in a way that does not make HIM the center of the universe we have the wrong focus.
I am as special as every soul that ever was or ever will be created. I am as special as every Christian who ever believed in the Son of God. I am as special as every woman who ever has or ever will walk this earth. There is nothing about me that makes me any more worthy, superior or distinguishable than any other person in all of time. Which means that I am not in any way special. However, because God gave me the breath of life I am a miracle. Because God shows me His grace I am worthy. Because God showed me mercy through His only begotten son I am redeemed. Because God made me for His will and good pleasure I have great purpose. Because Christ has called me His own I am loved beyond all understanding.
I am not a child of the river gods. I am a child of the one and only Living God and it is not my job nor my right to find my purpose in life. It is my job to seek HIS purpose FOR my life.
